nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
