That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
