I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
