The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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