Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
