she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
