dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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