I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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