no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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