I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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