So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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