just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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