During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize