whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
