what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
