dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
