Me too!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
