And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
