We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
