forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
