my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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