i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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