Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
