It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
