i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
