All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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