Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
