if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Even my vagina gasped.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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