We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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