I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
