u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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