i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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