I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
