i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
