:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
too bad you live with your parents still
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
