absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
