why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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