we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
