RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
