Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
