what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
