I understand Curling. That high.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
