I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
