if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
