My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
