Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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