just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm jealous of your bromance
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
