just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he fucked my hip out of place.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
