Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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