saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
