oh god the rape fog is back!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
